With the NFL season fast approaching, it is once again time to break out our resident crew of NFL experts. In case you have forgotten, Sports Blog Movement retained five ex-NFL kickers to serve as a “McLaughlin Group” style discussion pane. The reason why we picked kickers is actually quite simple.
First of all, many kickers never made any real money during their careers, and as you will notice as you read the biographies of our newly-assembled panel, with the exception of Uwe von Schamann, they didn’t make a lot of money afterward. This means kickers are to football players what bloggers are to the main-stream media. What better kindred spirits could we have?
With that being said, allow us to re-familiarize you with our panel, then you can take in their takes on who will be the winners and the losers in the NFL in 2013.
Ex-Kicker: Ali Haji-Shiekh
For those of you who may not know, and we’re guessing that’s all of you, Ali Haji-Shiekh was a placekicker for the University of Michigan in the early 80′s, then went on to a rather short and mediocre NFL career. Now, he’s the main man on the floor buffer at the Port Authority Bus Terminal, and he’s a little bit bitter about it. Despite that, has some unique perspectives, so including him on the panel was a no-brainer. In fact, his caustioc wit and short temper is exactly why we made him the moderator
Ex-Kicker: Rick Danmeier
Somehow, Danmeier made the journey from the University of Sioux Falls to a five-year stint with the Minnesota Vikings. One of the last straight-on kickers in the NFL, retirement saw Danmeier return to South Dakota and the isolation of his wheat farm.
Ex-Kicker: Donald Igwebuike
After immigrating from Nigeria, Igwebuike split the uprights for Clemson. His NFL days were spent mostly in more fruity colors with Tampa Bay. Now, his foot finds itself on the gas pedal of a Washington, D.C. taxi, and he’s clearly taken to the weight room in an attempt to over-compensate.
Ex-Kicker: Efren Herrera
America never seemed to suit Herrera. After a career kicking for UCLA, the Dallas Cowboys, and the Seattle Seahawks, Herrera returned home and became a 19th-century Mexican warlord.
Ex-Kicker: Uwe von Schamann
After his five seasons with the Miami Dolphins, von Schamann returned to his college stomping grounds in Oklahoma, amassing bazillions of dollars in the oil business and spending his time plotting world domination. Dropping a kid from the recently de-Reiched Germany of the into the “Yee-Haw” environment of Oklahoma of the 1970′s could only have the alkali-metal-tossed-into-the-fish-tank effect need to exemplify the “Adolf Eichmann-meets- J.R. Ewing”-type calculating evil of von Schamann.