jsportsblogger

This series of articles will celebrate (or laugh at) some of the worst professional sports teams of all time. I will focus on teams within my lifetime so expect the worst from the 1970s to present day. 

How to take a World Series Champion and make it into a laughingstock. The Florida Marlins did this to near perfection. In 1997, the Marlins won their first World Series championship in franchise history. In 1998, the Marlins were the worst team in baseball, finishing with a record of 54 wins to go with 108 losses. From first to worst as they say.

How did they do it? It started in the offseason, as the Marlins decided not to renew the contracts of outfielder Moises Alou, first baseman Jeff Conine, staff ace Kevin Brown, starting pitcher Al Leiter, and closer Robb Nen. Alou led the Marlins in home runs (23), and RBIs (115)…

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jsportsblogger

With the Olympics nicely underway, baseball entering the dog days of summer, NFL training camps now open, the NHL and NBA in their off-seasons, and the CFL in full force, I think it is time for some more new rules. So once again, with a tip of the hat to Bill Maher, it is time for some New Rules Sports Style!

NEW RULE:

Enough with the insipid “I Believe” song. Yes I’m talking to you CTV! We don’t need to hear it every time Canada wins a medal. (Which won’t be very often at these Olympics.) The only person that likes the song is Brian Williams who probably has a creepy old man crush on Nikki Yanofsky. Just stop the madness. For my American readers, here’s the song I’m talking about. Warning: This song may shorten life spans, and kill brain cells.

NEW RULE:

For the love of God, please…

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Dubsism

Here at Dubsism, we are all about education. That means as part of our Olympic coverage, we will strive to make sure you in the blog reading public get an opportunity to learn something while staying tuned to our coverage of the 30th Olympiad.  In a previous blog, we did make a reference to the fact J-dub is a practitioner of Judo.  Now, thanks to the  good people at Pleated Jeans, we’ve found an effective  way to teach the joys of Olympic Judo.

#1) The School Dance

2) The Warm Embrace

3) The Disgruntled Bookie

4) The Late Night Date

 

 

5) The Fashion Bug

 

 

6) The Tickle Monster

 

Now that you know the six basic Judo throws, share the Olympic experience with the next total stranger you pass on the street.

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Dubsism

Now that we find ourselves at the start of the 30th Olympiad, it is time for us here at Dubsism to perform another public service by giving you a quick rundown on things you need to know about each event of the Summer Olympic Games.  Let’s be hones, this is where you can learn a lot more about the Olympics than those moulyaks at NBC are going to tell you.

Archery – The only people who used bows and arrow were either Robin Hood and his band of thieves or Native Americans, and they are both all dead. The only people left using them are those enormously overweight southerners you see hunting deer on Saturday mornings on ESPN. The only thing more ridiculous than a 300-pound guy up a tree who thinks his camouflage NASCAR hat makes him invisible is the fact these Skoal-stained goatee wearers don’t dominate this sport…

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jsportsblogger

This series of articles will celebrate (or laugh at) some of the worst professional sports teams of all time. I will focus on teams within my lifetime so expect the worst from the 1970s to present day. 

You know you’re going to have a bad season, when you lose your first 18 games of the season. That is precisely what happened to the New Jersey Nets in 2009-10. The Nets got off to the worst start in NBA history, and never looked back. They finished with a record of 12 wins and 70 losses. At least they didn’t finish with the worst record in NBA history, but they were dreadful. In fact, they were lucky to win 12 times, as the Nets only had 4 victories at the All-Star break.

The biggest problem for the Nets in 2009-10 was scoring or lack thereof. The Nets finished dead last in offence…

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In honor of the Olympics, here’s a classic from the Dubsism archives…

Dubsism

This is an an oldie, but a goodie. A few years back,  three guys managed to get their hands on some Team Canada gear, and then managed to get interviewed by the sideline reporter at what appears to be a sparesly-attended football game.  In which sport do these gentlemen claim to be Olympians, you ask? Hide your face up against that tree, count to 100 and I’ll tell you…

Of course, hilarity ensues. It always does with the classics.

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The Everyday Man's Sports Blog

The Marlins were generating a lot of buzz going into this season. They were opening a new ballpark in Miami and changed their name from the Florida Marlins to the Miami Marlins. In addition to the change of name, the Marlins added players like Mets shortstop Jose Reyes, White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle, Padres pitcher Heath Bell and Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano to ramp up the excitement even more. And for good measure, the Marlins brought in World Series-winning manager Ozzie Guillen to guide this team. The scene was set for the Marlins to make a run at another championship.

(Ozzie Guillen frustrated via www.fishstripes.com )

Fast forward to now and the Marlins are in fourth place in their division and everthing is looking like a disappointment. They just shipped shortstop/third baseman Hanley Ramirez to the Los Angeles Dodgers for some minor league players. And before that, the Marlins shipped infielder Omar Infante and pitcher…

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The Southern Fried Sports Girl

In an interview with Sports Radio 680 The Fan in Atlanta on The Rude Awakening, Braves General Manager Frank Wren declared the Braves are “moving on” from trying to acquire Chicago Cubs right-hander Ryan Dempster in a trade. “I think it’s very highly unlikely” said Wren. He spoke of the trade process, in which there were restrictions on the trade that ended Tuesday. He said the Braves are scouting hard, looking at pitchers and will continue to try and pursue one. Dempster, who has expressed alleged preference to the Dodgers first and the Braves second (as teams he would want to be traded to), Braves fans can find comfort that we won’t be a part of his Dwight Howard-like decision making.

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The Southern Fried Sports Girl

Carolina Panthers center Ryan Kalil is making promises as big as he is.
The Panthers center, perhaps feeling the swagger and confidence a team member gets from having a solid quarterback, placed a full-page ad in The Charlotte Observer, proclaiming that the Panthers are Super Bowl bound—  and that they will be victorious, too!

The advertisement showcases pretty stellar prose on his part. Written and published to drive the fan base to believe and support the team; he goes on to relieve the team’s origins and where they’ve been since their first and declares “Victory. One hundred-percent, sterling silver victory”.

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