The 2014 NFL Offseason Has Proved That Free Agency Hyperactivity Is At An All Time High, and Two May Soon Be The New Three…

Former Giants Defensive end Justin Tuck looks forward to another explosive sub-.500 season in a different jersey

Now that NFL free agency has kind of slowed down, we’ve really had the opportunity to sit back and let it soak in. We’ve seen franchise guys move around, and with every passing year it seems to surprise us less. As very well that it should, because free agency is crazy these days.

As you very well may know, I am a diehard New York Giants fan. The Giants had their most active offseason in recent history where they made some decent acquisitions, even garnering a B+ rating from their beat writer on NFL.com. They have brought back WR Mario Manningham, signed corner Walter Thurmond from the Seattle Seahawks and acquired a big name in Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie to help him try and repair that less than impenetrable New York Giants secondary amongst several other players. For the first time in as long as I remember, they really impressed me by going out of their way to make bold moves.

But as Dubsism would say…Here’s the $64,000 question: Did the Giants finally decide to make moves based on the way that they are going to run their own franchise for the next ten years; or did they make moves based on the way that they rest of the league seems to be losing their patience with players who do not perform? I personally think this is a case of monkey-see, monkey-do. The New York Giants will never be trendsetters; the franchise is just simply too old and doesn’t have what it takes to stick their neck out and lead the way due to their football-oriented conservative fanbase and ownership. So I believe that they have finally just caught up with the rest of the league, but in their defense the rest of this league has moved really fast. Just think about what’s happened this offseason already…

QB Notes: Painter Returns to Giants, Schaub to Oakland

Originally posted at http://www.obscureathletes.com

Matt Schaub always looks like the guy who drank too much at your party, and is just waking up at 11:30 in the morning after having passed out on your couch. So of course the Raiders had to bring him in. The Texans shipped the one-time fantasy football star turned Houston washout to the Bay Area for a sixth-round pick in May’s draft. By my count, the Raiders have started fourteen different quarterbacks since Rich Gannon won the NFL MVP by throwing checkdown after checkdown to Tyrone Wheatley and Charlie  Garner. That year, the Raiders won the AFC. Schaub is no Rich Gannon, but hey–he can’t be worse than Matt Flynn.

Curtis Painter, the man most remembered as a week 17 hero, and subsequent winless starter in Indianapolis, re-upped with the Giants last week. Painter has spent his entire career in the league backing up one Manning or another, and will once again sport a clipboard for Eli in 2014. Last year, Painter completed 8 out of 16 throws, for 57 yards. He threw no touchdowns and was intercepted twice. The 28-year old has a career passer rating of 57.6, and has thrice as many career turnovers (18) as touchdown passes thrown (6).  Hey, who wouldn’t want to bring this guy back?

Don’t look now, but Joe Webb is BACK! The Quarterback/wide receiver signed with the Panthers over the weekend. Webb has said he has no interest in playing quarterback ever again, and I’m sure Cam Newton is happy to be free from the pressure Webb would no doubt put on him. Webb caught five passes last season, and his production should be more than enough to make up for the losses of Steve Smith, Brandon LaFell and Ted Ginn.

 

Matt Flynn to Become Backup for Third Team in Two Months

Flynn, shown the last time he was a starter.

Originally posted at the  Obscure Athletes Blog

Matt Flynn is back! And the 28-year-old former future NFL starter is returning to where it all started, rejoining the Packers, who drafted Flynn out of LSU in 2008. Flynn showed promise as a young backup in Green Bay, and ultimately saw game action late in the 2010 and 2011 seasons.

But nothing went right for Matt Flynn after he left the Pack– that is, except for the fat paycheck bestowed upon him by the Seattle Seahawks. After that ’11 season, Flynn signed a three-year, $20.5 million deal with Seattle, of which 9 million was guaranteed. It was simply assumed that Flynn would earn the starting job, but the would-be NFL Rookie of the Year, Russell Wilson, won the starting spot out of camp. He threw just nine career passes for the Seahawks, and was released after 2012.

Flynn was brought to Oakland in the offseason, again with the implication he would be the starter. And again Flynn whiffed, and was relegated to backup duty, this time to Terrell Pryor. Matt Flynn was released after appearing in two games for the Raiders, starting one. He hooked on with the Bills, where he backed up all of EJ Manuel, Thad Lewis, and Jeff Tuel, never throwing a pass as a Bill.

Buffalo released Flynn on November 4, and now with the injuries to Rodgers and Seneca Wallace in Green Bay, he makes his grand return to the Pack. This time he’ll be backing up Scott Tolzien. Will Matt Flynn EVER get a chance to be a starter in the NFL? The planets simply will not align for the dude.

What We Learned From Week 9 of the 2013 NFL Season

By J-Dub and Meehan

As we usually say, another week has passed in the sportsgasm that is the NFL season, but this week is a bit different, because J-Dub walked out of SBM World Headquarters after Richie Incognito called him some sort of terrible name. On a serious note, be sure to check out Meehan’s coverage of that story…

Now, let’s get to the important points from Week 9.

1) Your Official Dr. Kelly Brackett NFL Death Watch: Teams Dropped To The Critical List

Baltimore Ravens: 

Because football straddles it regular season and it’s play-off season across the New Yea’s holiday, the Ravens started 2013 as an elite team.  They sure as fuck aren’t elite now, and they don’t deserve to be thought of in that light at all.  The Ravens are getting juked out of their shoes on almost every single goddamn play and there’s no way an honest eye can look at them as being a playoff team in the AFC.  They probably couldn’t even beat an NFC East team, which really just makes them the top-shelf, Wal-Mart version of the San Diego Chargers. Speaking of which…

10 Stages of an NFL Meltdown

Team meltdowns— we’ve all seen them happen. It happened to the Jets last year. The Buccaneers are in the middle of a meltdown as we speak. If you’re a Raiders or Browns fan, you get to experience a meltdown every year! But how does it happen? How does a perfectly decent NFL team go from a preseason favorite, to an unmitigated deteriorating sack of suck in the matter of a season? Actually, the process is quite simple. Here are the ten stages of an NFL team meltdown.

1. High Expectations

In order for it to be considered a meltdown, people actually need to think your team is talented. By people, I mean any sports writer or commentator not named Skip Bayless. I believe it was Mike Florio, Editor of Pro Football Talk—and a man whose opinion I respect— who picked the Kansas City Chiefs to win the AFC West last year. Instead, the Chiefs were the worst team in the NFL at 2-14. When a respected analyst makes that big of a gaffe, only then can it be considered a meltdown.

2. The Losses

At stage two, the team will begin to lose. Badly. Okay, so maybe the first couple games were close. Then comes the blowout. The QB throws five interceptions and the defensive gives up 40+ points. “It’s a long season,” coaches will tell the media. “We’ve dug ourselves a hole but I have confidence in our guys.”

What We Learned From Week Six of the 2013 NFL Season

by J-Dub and Meehan

Yet another week has passed in the sportsgasm that is the NFL season, and that means it is time for us to tell you some things you need to know without the self-serving spin those assbags at ESPN will never give you. We know this because if you think you can get real football information from guys like Mike Greemberg and Mike Golic, you probably also don’t know that Alfred Kinsey, author of Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948), had a collection of 5 million wasps and could insert a toothbrush into his penis, bristle-end first.

You know that bit of knowledge just changed your life. Now, here’s some football facts that will do the same.

1) Your Official Dr. Kelly Brackett NFL Death Watch:

We started this bit last week, and it’s already time to mail out some death certificates.

New York Giants:

• Cause of Death: Chronic Turnover Syndrome
• Autopsy Report:  After eight interceptions in the fourth quarters of the first six games, Eli Manning is once again reduced to being the one in the family who’s going through a rough stretch.  This has caused Eli and the Giants to let their injuries absolutely destroy their chances of being successful.  The 2012-2013 New York Giants season has become the longest tip drill in history.

Jacksonville Jaguars:

• Cause of Death:  Self-inflicted gunshot wound to genital area
• Autopsy Report:  Even when it appeared that they were hanging with a good team, the Jaguars proved that they have no real firepower, except when it comes to shooting themselves.

Atlanta Falcons:

• Cause of Death:  Burst rectum from repeated anal rape with a sharp object
• Autopsy Report: The Falcons training center is starting to look like Jonestown 15 minutes after they made the Kool-Aid.  With the popularity of companies using temp services to provide labor for their short-term needs combined with the fact the Falcons are blowing out their knees putting on their shoes, the Atlanta Falcons medical staff now employs 15% of the U.S. population.

Oakland Raiders:

• Cause of Death: Hit by a semi loaded with flaming double-edged razor blades
• Autopsy Report: The fact that their two “best” receivers are Denarius Moore and Rod Streater means the offense ranks 27th in passing.  That translates to  gets you 7 fucking points a game if they are lucky.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers:

• Cause Of Death: Acute Schiano-itis
• Autopsy Report: Forget about the fact this team has more problems with MRSA than John Holmes had with AIDS.  Do we really need to do an autopsy on a team that has gone 0-3 at home and probably couldn’t beat the Jaguars right now.

Pittsburgh Steelers:

• Cause of Death: Old Age
• Autopsy Report:  Most likely available on the entire server Drunkathlete.com has allocated to Ben Roethlisberger. Sure, that’s not new stuff, but losing means all your foibles get rehashed by bloggers who do little more than eat Hot Pockets and masturbate to pictures of Linda Cohn. This death is even stranger from a franchise that both has no sense of urgency and usually doesn’t put up with this kind of shit.

2) Teams that Dropped to the Critical List:

Houston Texans:

We know, we know…There’s still ten games left in the season, and a lot can happen in that time, but let’s not kid anybody here.  This team is one re-run of Grey’s Anatomy away from a dirt nap.  There is no conceivable way that the Houston Texans play past December.  Really, getting the Rams at home should have been a fucking gift; instead, the Texans turned it into the Christmas tree that burns the house down.  Not only did the Texans lick more taint than Andy Dick in a Turkish bath house, they did so in a stadium and in front of a crowd meant to scare the shit out of opposing teams.   The  Texans looked uninspired, uncaring, and unworthy of January football.  Right now, we are calling the Texans will not make playoffs; you have to remember that it only took us both six weeks to bail on the team we had in the Super Bowl from the AFC. The only question really left in Houston is this the year finally the one which ends with the “Koob” getting fired.

Minnesota Vikings:

The horror that is the Vikings’ season really could be all 856 of those Friday the 13th movies. Just when you think it’s over, just when the sheriff shows up at the lakeside cabin and empties his 12-gauge through the face mask of the slasher, the killer pops back up, rips the sheriff’s face off and the horror continues. Put hockey masks on whichever heap the Vikings are trotting out as a quarterback and the concept becomes as clear as used Neutrogena.

Not only was getting slam-fucked by the Panthers the worst showing of this ghastly Vikings’ season so far, but let’s talk about the really scary question we won’t dare mention. Suffice it to say that we know Christian Ponder was not the answer. Matt Cassel is not the answer, and if anybody thinks Josh Freeman is the answer, this unmentionable question will keep coming back to life like the horror movie slasher.

There’s actually a simple reason for this.  Instead of putting the slasher through a wood-chipper and setting the bits on fire, the Vikings continually think they can solve the problem by giving the killer a shaving nick, then going back into the cabin to the naked, horny teen-agers who get machetes through their eyeballs. Josh Freeman is just another in a long line of shaving nicks that have finally bled the Vikings out.

3) Week Six proved to be the Bye Week for Offenses

Just look at all the teams who had offensive performances like watching a blind seal work a Rubik’s Cube…

Houston Texans: The progression from Matt Schaub to T.J. Yates is like going from HIV to full-blown AIDS (Yes, that’s the second AIDS joke we’ve made. Go dig up Ryan White and cry to him if you don’t like it).

Oakland Raiders: To make our “blind seal” analogy work for the Raiders, the seal is not only blind, but is wearing boxing gloves and it’s flipper’s are loaded with pharmacuetical-grade cocaine.

Minnesota Vikings: Time for this week’s “Fun with Homophones” moment.  The Vikings are describing their offensive situation as being “week to week,” largely because that’s really what their quarterback situation is all about. But, it really could also be called “weak to weak.”

Tennessee Titans: One of several teams with exactly zero offensive touchdowns.  Their only touchdown came from the Seahawks’ decision to have a “Garo Yepremien” moment.  Only touchdown was a result of a single play that was botched from the get go.

Pittsburgh Steelers: See above, with the difference being Pittsburgh’s only touchdown came from a play that came off the chalkboard broken. Sure, the Steelers won, but beating the Geno Smith-led Jets is really just getting a ribbon at the Special Olympics.  Honestly, the only time the Steelers looked good in the air was on a single play where the Jets’ coverage was worse than CNN’s quadrennial election special.  What we’re saying is even Wolf Blitzer could play man coverage against the Steelers and he wouldn’t even need to change his Fruit of the Looms. 

New York Jets: Geno Smith is just a fetal Josh Freeman. Next…

Washington Redskins: We said this last week, and we’ll say it again. The “read-option” concept without the threat of a running game is about as dangerous as a girl scout with rubber numchucks.  A while ago, J-Dub did a piece chronicling the connection between the Washington Redskins and Andre the Giant.  If the Redskins don’t figure out their lack of offensive prowess soon, Robert Griffin III might start looking more like Andre Ware. 

4) Joe Flacco Is Being Reduced to $120 million Plankton

Everybody is just eating Joe Flacco up, especially large marine filter-feeders. The man who rolled through the play-offs last year like an apex-predator shark has now been reduced to microscopic plankton the the seas of the NFL. sure, he showed a flash of the Flacco of old yesterday with that two-touchdown comeback in the 4th quarter quarter against the Packers, but the fact he and the Ravens came up short has been a microcosm of the Baltimore season, especially since Flacco started doing those god-awful McDonald’s commercials.

The Ravens offense, led by Flacco, has been as impotent as Wilford Brimley chuffing anti-Viagra; we all saw it Sunday against the Clay Matthews-less Packers.  Baltimore didn’t get a first rushing first down until the end of the third quarter, and they still should have won this game because the defense was handing out more knee damage than the baseball-bat scene at the end of Casino.  The failings of the Ravens so far this season is all about Flacco.

5) The whole “Tom Brady/Peyton Manning” conversation is ridiculous, because Brady can win when it matters.

As a “big game” quarterback, Tom Brady is now, and will always be better than Peyton Manning.  Sunday was just the latest example why. And Sunday we saw exactly why. When 98% of guys who’ve started at quarterback in the NFL  since the mid-1980s would have hung their head and declared the moment a loss, especially after that bizarre Bill Belichick 4th-down call that should have lost the game for  New England, and after the Patriots’ most experienced wide receiver got hurt, Brady gutted up and led the shell of the Patriots’ on a game-winning drive over a legitimate Super Bowl contender in the New Orleans Saints.

Meanwhile, Peyton Manning went out and stumbled through an ugly win against an even uglier team in Jacksonville. It was obvious during large stretches during that Bronco-Jaguar game that Manning was mailing this one in, particularly when he gift-wrapped that pick-six to Jacksonville linebacker Paul Pozlusny. While we could, we won’t bore you with yet another rundown of Peyton Manning’s “big-game” failures. Instead, let’s just look at the moments of truth we saw on Sunday.

Peyton Manning looked pretty mediocre against a team of NFL rejects, all while he has an offense stocked with weapons suited to his liking; meanwhile Brady has an offense made from a slightly-better class of NFL rejects whom are 5-1 largely for no other fucking reason than Tom Brady. But the biggest moment came in the 4th quarter in New England, when not only did Brady pull out the most-improbable of victories, he did so after throwing one of the most hair-brained and confusing picks you’ll ever see leave his fingertips.  Brady is headed to the Hall of Fame based on his ability to be a big man in big situations, even if his team has done a wonderful job of failing him in the past few years.

Now, having said that, it is important to point out the Patriots may easily be the worst 5-1 team we’ve ever seen, and we sure as shit understand there are a ton of haters out who want to jump all over the Patriots, and to many of you, we have this to say…

6) There are far too many Patriots’ fans who are stupid Yuppie fuckwads who prematurely bailed on this team.

Gillette Stadium in the 4th quarter.

What happened yesterday in Gillette Stadium proves what J-Dub said about a lot of Patriot fans a long time ago.  The fact the tens of thousands of “Patriots Fans” heard Brady’s comeback drive on their car radios is an absolute fucking disgrace.  The “wine and cheese” crowd in Foxboro decided “beating traffic” was more important that hanging around for the outcome of a game that could prove pivotal in New England’s entire season.  Yeah, we get they may be the worst 5-1 team ever, but the fact remains they are still 5-1.  Considering the fact the Patriots were within a score of winning against a Super Bowl contender, and that the Broncos are going to lose eventually means many so-called “Patriot Fans” bailed on a moment which looks to have HUGE play-off implications.

Despite that, they turned their back on a guy that has led them to three Super Bowls; a guy who got the ball back two separate times with a solid chance to win after the “fans” headed for the parking lot.  All you had to do was wait for the obligatory “crowd” shots during that game to see that least half the “crowd” left in the middle of the 4th quarter.  People like this make us here at SBM want to force feed them their own methane gas.

The “I want to beat traffic” people are all useless pieces of shit who shouldn’t even be at sporting events in the first fucking place.  They should all be at home looking up what Cat Stevens changed his name to after he converted to Islam. These are the same assholes who wanted to get out of that parking lot because despite their “hardcore big city mentality” there is a hole in their soul that would widen substantially if somebody were to scratch their Prius. Worse yet, their Dave Matthews Band CD might skip and they might spill some Samuel Adams “Autumn Northeastern Liberal Prick” all over their cargo shorts.

These people are not real fans. These people couldn’t name position players, they’re there because their cousin (who follows the remaining members of Grateful Dead around the country) got tickets. They figured since the dank from Vermont wasn’t coming in until later that night, they might as well go a football game because it would increase the number of times they said “Hell yeah, dude” without getting punched in the throat.

Sports Blog Movement NFL Preview: NFC West

Welcome back friends! It’s time to take a look at the NFC West.

Two years ago, this was easily the worst division in football. If you don’t recall, the Seattle Seahawks won the NFC West in 2011 with a whopping 7-9 record. Oh how things have changed. Nowadays, the West features two of the best teams in the NFL. Even the bad teams in the division aren’t all that bad. The Rams are on the rise and the Cardinals finally have a functional (albeit washed-up) Quarterback. There won’t be any 13+ win teams here, simply because each divisional match-up will be a god damn blood bath. You won’t be seeing any (6-0) divisional records in the NFC West. Meaning that this division will be fun to watch.

1. Seattle Seahawks (12-4)

Additions: WR Percy Harvin (MIN), RB Christine Michael (Draft), QB Tarvaris Jackson (BUF), QB Lady Quinn (KC), DE Cliff Avril (DET), Antoine Winifield (MIN)

Losses: QB Matt Flynn, RB/KR Leon Washington

Offensively, Russel Wilson has plenty to work with. Even with the injury to Percy Harvin; the remaining receivers Sidney Rice, Zach Miller and Golden Tate are still dangerous targets. Beast-Mode will continue to do his thang and the Offensive Line will continue to be dominant (They gave up the 5th least amount of QB hits last season).

PED’s or not, the Seahawks defense is easily in the top-5. The addition of Cliff Avril will help make up for the injured Chris Clemons at Defensive End. The Linebacker core is solid. K.J. Wright and Bobby Wagner combined for almost 250 tackles last season. The defensive backfield is THE best in the league. Kam Chancellor and Richard Sherman are All-pro caliber. Earl Thomas is just about to enter his prime at 24 years old. Brandon Browner is solid on the corner. Not to mention, Antoine Winifield is set to play the Nickle back. I don’t know of another defensive backfield with more physicality. The Seahawks are poised to make a run deep into the playoffs. I think it’s fair to say that if they can survive their own division, this team is a lock for an NFC Championship appearance.

2. San Francisco 49ers (11-5)

Additions: WR Anquan Boldin (BAL), RB Marcus Lattimore (Draft), QB Colt McCoy (CLE)

Losses: QB Alex Smith, WR Ted Ginn Jr.

Fresh off a Super Bowl loss, the 49ers look slightly worse off than they did at the beginning of last season. Two things are going to happen offensively: First, Colin Kaepernick will struggle to move the ball through the air due to his lack of weapons. He still has Vernon Davis and the addition of Anquan Boldin will help, but only a little. The loss of Michael Crabtree for the foreseeable future will put this offense in a huge hole. The second thing that will happen offensively is that teams will adjust to the Read-Option offense that made the 49er’s offense so successful last season. Defenses always adjust. Just as they did with the Wildcat offense, defenses will be on a mission to discover a way to shut down the Pistol. It will be up to Colin Kaepernick to adjust to the adjustment, so to speak. When defenses take away Kaepernick’s ability to run, how will he respond? That is the single biggest question facing the 49ers this season.

On the other side of the ball, the 49ers won’t have to change much. Their front seven is the best in football, bar none. Everyone knows about the great linebackers in Aldon Smith, NaVorro Bowman and Patrick Willis. However, the real key to that defense is a guy that no one talks about. I’m my opinion, he’s the best 3-4 defensive end in the league. I’m talking of course, about Justin Smith. He doesn’t show up on the stat sheet but Smith’s unique ability to occupy blockers is crucial to that defense. He’s the biggest reason that Aldon Smith got freed up enough to record 19.5 sacks last season. In fact, Aldon Smith recorded his 19.5 sacks in the first 13 games of the season. With three games to go, Justin Smith went down with an injury. Sure enough, Aldon Smith’s sack totals in the final three games were 0.0, 0.0 and 0.0.

Okay Jon Gruden, enough Justin Smith boners. The 49ers will struggle a bit in the beginning of the season until Michael Crabtree returns. Once #15 gets back into the line-up, the 49ers should be in position to fight for a wildcard berth. 

3. St. Louis Rams (8-8)

Additions: WR Tavon Austin (Draft), RB Zac Stacy (Draft), T Jake Long (MIA), TE Jarred Cook (TEN), OLB Alec Ogletree (Draft)

Losses: RB Steven Jackson, WR Danny Amendola

The Rams are going to beat a lot of good teams this year. They’re not a great team yet, but they’re a dangerous. I equate them to Northwestern in the Big10. The “Cardiac Cats” always seems to sneak up on ranked teams like Michigan or Wisconsin and take them down to the wire or even beat them. We saw it last year when they went (1-0-1) against the eventual NFC Champion 49ers. This team could go 10-6 easily if they were in another division.

Offensively, Sam Bradford will have to improve this year. He turned the ball over a little too much last season with 13 INT’s and 4 fumbles and his completion percentage was below average at under 60%. I don’t think the Rams will lose much going from an aging Steven Jackson to a young Daryl Richardson. Richardson averaged 4.8 yards/carry to Jackson’s 4.1 last season and frankly, it was just time to move on. The Rams have a nice little receiving core with Tavon Austin, Austin Pettis, Chris Givens and Brian Quick. The addition of Jake Long should improve an already improving offensive line that went from last in the NFL in sacks given up in 2011 to 14th in 2012.

Defensively, the Rams have solid pieces. Chris Long will be strong off the edge and they have a young linebacking core with the addition of Alec Ogletree who should develop into a serviceable pro. Their two corners are solid. Cortland Finnegan is a fucking asshole but I’d still love to have him on my team. Janoris Jenkins is a stud and will be a Pro-Bowler this year. Keep an eye on rookie Safety T.J. McDonald; he’ll surprise people this year.

This simply isn’t the year for the Rams. Unfortunately, with so much young talent in their division, it doesn’t look like that year is coming anytime soon.

4. Arizona Cardinals (7-9)

Additions: QB Carson Palmer (OAK), G Jonathan Cooper (Draft), RB Rashard Mendenhall (PIT), DE John Abraham (ATL)

Losses: QB John Skelton, QB Kevin Kolb, RB Beanie Wells, WR Early Doucet

It’s possible that I’m being too generous here by giving the Cardinals seven wins. It’s not that I think that Carson Palmer will suddenly turn this team around single-handedly. I do, however think that Larry Fitzgerald is about to go OFF this year. It’s been three years of frustration for Fitz. It’s been three damn years of interchangeable Bumblefuck McShitHead’s throwing him bounce-passes. NO MORE! Now he has a somewhat functional Quarterback and he’s about to ruin your life.

As far as how the rest of the roster is constructed, well, it’s a team. That’s more than the Oakland Raiders can say. It’s not a great team but it’s good enough to win six or seven games. Rashard Mendenhall is WAY past his prime but he’ll get most of the carries unless Ryan Williams can get his head out of his ass. The Receiving core is very top-heavy with Michael Floyd along with the aforementioned Fitzgerald. The Tight ends suck and the offensive line is still shit.

Defensively, the Cards are a little better. The front seven is strong with Darnell Dockett and Karlos Dansby. Patrick Peterson will be a borderline Pro-Bowler this year. The suspension of Daryl Washington for the first four games will hurt their pass rush. Overall, there’s not much to say about this team. They’re certainly not good enough to make a run into the playoffs. Yet their not bad enough for me to make fun of. Just another Arizona Cardinals season for ya’: Perpetual mediocrity.

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I hope you’ve enjoyed my input on our NFL Preview here at Sports Blog Movement. Let’s hope you’re as excited for the start of the season as I am! HUCK IT, CHUCK IT, FOOTBALL!!!!!!

Sports Blog Movement NFL Preview: AFC West

What’s up kids? I’m here to talk to you about the AFC West!

This might just be the worst division in the NFL.  Take away the Denver Broncos and you’re left with a fat sack of bad. It wasn’t always so. The Chargers were once a perennial 10+ win team. Believe it or not, of the four teams, the Raiders have the most divisional championships. The Chiefs use to be… well on second thought, the Chiefs were always terrible. This division is sure to be a train wreck. One that you’ll get to witness mid-afternoons on CBS (because you know, these teams are too cool to start their games at 12 PM Central Time like everyone else.)

1. Denver Broncos (13-3)

Additions: WR Wes Welker (NE), RB Monte Ball (Draft), C Dan Koppen (NE)

Losses: RB Willis Mcgahee, OLB Elvis Dumervil

Let’s face it, the Broncos have Peyton Manning. Ergo, the Broncos will win a lot of games. Their biggest strength lies in their passing game. Manning has a ridiculous amount of weapons at his disposal in Demaryius Thomas, Eric Decker and Wes Welker. Their Running Back situation is in flux but it won’t really matter. No team in their right mind will load the box against Peyton Manning. A one-legged Chimpanzee could play Running Back for the Broncos and end up with a 700 yard season.

Defensively, the loss of Von Miller for the first six games will certainly hurt. Without Miller who had 18.5 sacks last season, the next best pass rusher on the team is Derek Wolfe with a meager 6.0 sacks. Elvis Dumervil is also gone, so for the first part of the season, the Broncos will have trouble generating a pass rush. However, the defensive backfield is as solid as ever. Champ Bailey and Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie make up one of the best Corner Back tandems in the league. Rahim Moore and Mike Adams are both solid NFL Safeties. The defense should be able to do enough to help Manning. This team will look unstoppable during the regular season. Just think where this team would be now if they would’ve kept Tim Tebow. Eat your heart out Skip Bayless.

2. Kansas City Chiefs (9-7)

Additions: T Eric Fisher (Draft), QB Alex Smith (SF), WR Donnie Avery (IND), TE Anthony Fasano (MIA), Head Coach Andy Reid (PHI)

Losses: RB Peyton Hillis, WR Steve Breaston, QB Matt Cassel, QB Brady Quinn, TE Kevin Boss

Hey! What do ya know! The Chiefs have… a QUARTERBACK! They finally got the memo from HR. I mean, it’s probably important to have a Quarterback, but I don’t know, that could just be logic talking. Wow 9-7! That’s a big deal for the Chiefs! Alex Smith will be a GOD in Kansas City. He’s not even that good, but shit! You can’t get much worse than Lady Quinn. The offense has a decent amount of weapons with Dwane Bowe, Dexter McCluster and Jamaal Charles. They’ll end up somewhere in the middle of the pack offensively.

The real key to the Chiefs’ success this year will be their defense. The Chiefs’ D is stacked with young talent. Tyson Jackson and Dontari Poe are two up-and-coming Defensive Linemen. Derrick Johnson is still doing his thing at 97 years old. Tamba Hali is the best pass-rushing Outside Linebacker that no one talks about. Justin Houston will be a stud Linebacker someday. On the back end, you have a young Eric Berry at Safety who is blooming into a superstar. Cornerbacks Brandon Flowers and Dunta Robinson are two borderline Pro-Bowl players. Overall, Andy Reid and the gang will surprise a lot of people this year. Two years from now, they’ll probably go 2-14 again. But for now, WOO HOO!

3. San Diego Chargers (6-10)

Additions: T DJ Flunker (Draft), WR Keenan Allen (Draft), RB Danny Woodhead (NE), WR Eddie Royal (DEN)

Losses: TE Dante Rosario, LB Shaun Phillips

I feel bad for Phillip Rivers. I really do. “Okay Phil, here’s the plan: We’re gonna take away all your receiving weapons and give you no running game. Sound good? You’ll still be able to put up those big numbers right?” Now sure, Rivers has made his fair share of mistakes as well. But come on dude! Give him something to work with. Malcolm Floyd? Really? All defenses have to do is quadruple-team Antonio Gates and Rivers is screwed. There haven’t been any changes over the off-season that make me think 2013 will be any different from last year. Ryan Matthews is still fumbly and injured. The Offensive Line (which gave up the forth most sacks last year) is still a mess. The Charger’s number two receiver is Vincent Brown. Yeah… Vincent Brown. Good luck with that, Phillip.

Defensively, no one really scares me. Shaun Phillips (last year’s sack leader) is gone. Kendall Reyes and Cam Johnson (Who? and Who?) are set to start on the Defensive Line along side the above-average Corey Liuget. Manti Te’o is there. So there’s that. Derek Cox and Eric Weddle are the only two Defensive Backs worth noting. The aging Dwight Freeney was brought in to provide what ever pass rush he has left in those old bones. Overall, I’m unimpressed. The Chargers will toil away in mediocrity, beating playoff teams and getting blown out by shit teams. They’ll look playoff bound one week and the next week they’ll have six turnovers and look like they’ve never seen a football before. When it’s all said and done, they’ll finish under .500 and it’ll be back to the drawing board.

4. Oakland Raiders (1-15)

Additions: QB Matt Flynn (SEA), WR/KR Josh Cribbs (CLE), QB Tyler Wilson (Draft), RB Rashad Jennings (JAX), LB Nick Roach (CHI)

Losses: QB Carson Palmer, WR Darius Heyward-Bey, TE Brandon Meyers, RB Mike Goodson

Do the Oakland Raiders know they’re a football team? Seriously? This has to be the sorriest excuse for a roster that I’ve ever seen. Matt Flynn? That’s your answer? Flynn could maybe be as good as Matt Cassel was in Kansas City. That means his best-case scenario is playing like shit for a couple years, getting injured and then listening to the fans cheer as he gets carted off the field. Denarius Moore and Rod Streator are his biggest weapons… Jesus. Darren McFadden will get injured like always. Once Matt Flynn gets benched, his back up is Terrelle Pryor. So that should be fun.

On the defensive side, I’ve heard of like three players. Charles Woodson will start at Free Safety since he’s too old and slow to play Corner Back anymore. Tyvon Branch is a decent Strong Safety. Tracey Porter and Mike Jenkins will start at Corner Back. Their most notable Linebacker is Nick Roach. Sio Moore and Kevin Burnett are the other two Linebackers. Lamarr Houston, Vance Walker, Pat Sims and Jason Walker make up the Defensive Line. See what I mean? Like what the fuck?

This is going to be a shit show. No. Worse than that. This is going to be an unmitigated three-day County Fair and Music Festival of shit– a shit Carnival. A shit Extravaganza. A shit Circus! Come one, come all! Pack up the cooler and cram the kids into the SUV. Don’t be the guy that misses out on all the fun and excitement! 

No Such Thing as Overpaying

It had to be done.

The Washington Redskins were in a bidding war that they happily won. Their prize is the most electrifying and talented quarterbacks to come out of college since Michael Vick. The Redskins may have given up a lot of draft picks but this sacrifice was one with the future in mind.

For a franchise quarterback, there is almost no such thing as overpaying.

There are no guarantees in life. Robert Griffin III could very well be the next Ryan Leaf. He could be the next Alex Smith. Heck, I don’t even think Nostradamus were alive today he could tell us what’s in store for RGIII.  Nevertheless, the Washington Redskins are doing the right thing.

I could go on for days about the follies of risking the future for the now. I chastised Hue Jackson for acquiring Carson Palmer. I questioned Julio Jones prior to Thomas Dimitroff’s draft day gamble. I lamented over Randy Moss’ return to Minnesota in the Brett Favre era.

However, this is different. It’s apples and oranges, cats and dogs, Toyota’s and Lexus’. Well, you get the picture.