On Wednesday the NFL fined Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin $100,000 for stepping out onto the field during Thanksgiving night’s Ravens-Steelers game. In a similar incident, recently Nets head coach Jason Kidd was fined $50,000 by the NBA for intentionally spilling soda on the court during a game last Wednesday against the Los Angeles Lakers.
The biggest sporting event on the planet kicks off in six months time when the 2014 FIFA World Cup will originate from arguably the most passionate soccer country in the world, Brazil. We do know which 32 teams have qualified for the tournament but we don't know any of the fixtures as of yet. The draw for the tournament is slated for Friday.
Before today is out, we may know for sure whether Aaron Rodgers will return from his collarbone injury this Sunday against the Falcons. While I’m a Rodgers fan myself, I hold the view that Green Bay games started by the three different Packers backups have been exponentially more entertaining.
For one, I had no idea Seneca Wallace was still playing. And sadly, as quick as you can say “Check it out dude, Seneca Wallace is starting for the Packers,” it was all over. The quarterback suffered a season-ending groin injury on November 10, his first start since 2010. The injury occurred on Green Bay’s first offensive possession. He threw just five passes. Hopefully Wallace can get work next year we’re rooting for him.
So the Packers needed a quarterback. They turned to the most efficient passer in Wisconsin history, Scott Tolzien. A week prior to his debut against the Eagles, Tolzien was on the Packers’ practice squad, having never thrown a single NFL pass. In parts of three games, Tolzien threw just one touchdown and five interceptions, before getting the hook against the Vikings. The Pack replaced Tolzien with the newly-reacquired superstar backup Matt Flynn.
Flynn has been the starter since Tolzien was pulled against the Vikings. In that game Flynn led a late comeback that resulted in the first NFL tie since last year. In his only start, Flynn put America to sleep on Thanksgiving afternoon, with a dreadful 10-20, 3 turnover performance. He was sacked by the Lions 7 times in the 41-10 rout.
Suffices to say, the Pack need Rodgers back if they want to save their season. But if I’m being honest with myself, I’d really rather see the Green Bay situation continue to break down, and the Packers bring in two or three more starters! What’s Byron Leftwich up to? Charlie Batch perhaps? I bet David Carr has some football left in him. Packer fans want Rodgers back, but I wanna see more Green Bay quarterbacks!
If you aren’t familiar with the 1954 film classic “A Star Is Born” starring Judy Garland and James Mason, then the jokes here are going to be completely lost on you. But rather than telling you to move along, you may want to consider giving the following movie parody a read, because it was written four years ago and essentially predicts Sarkisian’s rise to the top. It stars all the same characters; Sarkisian as Esther Blodgett/Vicki Lester, former USC head coach Pete Carroll as Norman Maine, and who could forget the recently departed Ed Orgeron as Matt Libby?
Having said that, here’s the Dubsism version of “A Star Is Born.”
As we have been doing all season, we are breaking down things that you need to know as we head into the play-offs. As we get closer, that means that issues with team get more magnified. That also means that a lot of assumptions that have been held about the teams who are still play-off contenders become true or get exposed as just another pack of lies. So, without any further adieu, here are this week’s questions…
1) Truth or Lie: The Detroit Lions can win the NFC.
I've always been afraid of what Steve Sarkisian would be able to do at UW once he managed to keep his offensive line healthy for an entire season. This season saw him overcome some of the O-line issues with a hurry-up version of his offense, and the Husky offense exploded as a result. But the O-line still had issues with blocking and were consistently dominated throughout the 2013 season.
Despite what they would like you to think, most guys don’t really understand football, and they understand even less about women. But when it comes to both, they all think they know something. As a public service for you, the blog-reading public, we are offering you a comparison using both of those things you guys mistakenly think you understand to give you a clear picture as to who your Super Bowl contenders really are.
For purposes of full disclosure, this isn’t a piece written about, or intended to encourage gambling. Nor is it intended to offer advice on the same. This is because not only is gambling illegal at Bushwood, sir, but women are way more fucking dangerous than any wager. You can still read our blogs after you lose your house payment to a bookie, but the same isn’t true after you die from a case of Tasmanian Scrotum Rot or from catching a butcher knife in the face. So proceed with caution, and see how the teams in the current NFL playoff hunt can be compared to some of your local neighborhood barflies.
1) “The Incredibly Hot Bridesmaid”