Memo to the NFL: The Pro Bowl Doesn’t Work

As the NFL’s regular season draws to a close, fans are logging on in droves at NFL.com to vote for their favorite players to play in the year’s most pointless event – The 2014 NFL Pro Bowl.

I think that most of us reading this would agree that there’s no point to holding a game that there’s no point to winning.  None of you go to Pro Bowl parties, do you?  That’s what we thought…

But this year, the “Added Bonus” that the NFL front office people are throwing our way is that this year’s game will be “unconferenced”.  If you don’t know what that means, that’s quite alright because it’s not a real word.  Players will be drafted in what I can assume is sort of a schoolyard type of atmosphere and then it won’t be NFC vs. AFC at all.  So I’m not exactly sure how they are going to work the scoring or name the teams, but then again I’m not sure about a lot of things surrounding the Pro Bowl. 

But let’s be honest, we don’t care about any of that stuff.  So here’s the message that as a real fan I think we need to relay to Komissar Goddell and the rest of the asshats in the upper management team of the National Football League:

We will never like the Pro Bowl

We never ever will, and all of these little adjustments that the NFL is making in hopes that we will are fucking pointless.  It really angers me that so much energy is put into this when every true football fan immediately dismisses this game.  They can move the game back or forward weeks, it doesn’t matter.  They can change the rules so the scoring is much higher, we still won’t care.  Allowing players to Tweet from the sidelines?  Vince Lombardi would roll over in his grave if he heard that.

My take on the Pro Bowl is this:  We can have an All-Pro team, just get rid of the game itself.  That way, we can still say that so and so is an All-pro when referring to their skillset, but not fly a bunch of rich assholes to Hawaii every February.  Save the money spent on jet fuel and get these retired guys some goddamn healthcare.

The argument here is the earlier we get rid of it, the easier it will be to get rid of in the first place.  If we keep having it, with each passing year it becomes more difficult to cut ties and eliminate the game.  The NFL needs to move on, and they can do so by making a statement and cancelling the Pro Bowl altogether.  The NFL doesn’t need Hawaii, and they don’t owe the city of Honolulu anything.  They’re never going to put a team there, so they shouldn’t be there in the first place.

(Editor’s note:  The whole take that suggests that the Pro Bowl has a positive economic impact on Hawaii is completely irrelevant.  It’s not the NFL’s responsibility to make sure they make money, and fans certainly don’t care.)

Another thing that should be mentioned is the fact that a lot of guys aren’t even going anymore.  The only thing worse than having a game that doesn’t matter is having a game that doesn’t matter where a lot of your marquee guys don’t even show up.  And it’s even worse that now they’ve moved the game to the week before the Super Bowl, because then you know that all of the players on the two best teams in the league are not going to show up.

San Francisco 49ers wide receiver Jerry Rice has stated that he thinks the NFL shouldn’t get rid of the Pro Bowl.  But you have to remember that Rice really pushes anything that the NFL is selling.  The league made him a legend and rightfully so.  But the NFL is a very different group of guys than it was when Rice made his money.  Today’s player simply view the Pro Bowl as a total hassle, and hardly an honor to be selected to make the trip.

So it’s time to put this thing away.  There’s never been a better time than now.  Or next year.

Or, really any year after that.  The Pro Bowl sucks.

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3 Comments

Filed under Sports

3 responses to “Memo to the NFL: The Pro Bowl Doesn’t Work

  1. So, the NFL is trying to tell me that one of the premium tourist spots in the world gets an economic boost from a meaningless football game nobody shows up for anyway?

  2. Reblogged this on UnSportsMenMic and commented:
    I actually like the Pro Bowl, but I think it should turn into a. 7 on 7 Flag football game to help with injury concerns and how awesome would it be to see a big hulking lineman catch a pass, or a WR playing corner, QB’s catching passes? Great entertainment. Also bring back skills competition, QB challenge, lineman competition, and etc

  3. While it’s an honor to be selected, the violent nature of the sport leads any player, or at least veteran player, selected to say thanks but no thanks.

    I’m not sure what the right answer is but I’m pretty sure Roger Goodell won’t come up with it.

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