Coach’s Rant Bracket: The Enraged Eight


The field of rants has been whittled down to eight. Last round saw two upsets (if you can call them that); with two 3-seeds taking down 2-seeds. Mike Ditka and Denny Green defeated Les Miles and Kevin Borseth respectively. So far all 1-seeds are still alive. All the remaining rants are a 3-seed or higher. Looks like the selection committee got the seeds right (Get with the program, NCAA).

I will be giving you a breakdown of each Enraged Eight match-up by rating each rant on a scale of 1-5 (5 being the best) based on four factors: vulgarity, anger, funniness and overall message.

Check out each match-up below. Vote early and often to be sure that the best four rants move on to the semi-finals.


North Region

1. Mike Gundy “I’m a Man, I’m 40!”


2. David Bennett “Act Like Dogs”


Gundy has the clear advantage in the anger department in this match-up. But Bennett’s rant has to be the funniest in the tournament. Neither coach used any vulgar language here which is surprising. This will be the hardest test yet for the number one overall seed.


South Region

1. Lee Elia “They Can Kiss My Fucking Ass”


3. Mike Ditka “What Do You Care?”


Elia blows Ditka out of the water in the swearing department. Every other word he uses is “motherfucker.” The rants are pretty close in their comedic value and neither really have a  solid message. Ditka edged out Elia in the anger department, only because Elia was so causal in ripping apart Cubs fans. He did it with such elegance and grace.


East Region

1. Earl Weaver “Baltimore Orioles Baseball Fucking Network” 


3. Denny Green “They Were Who We Thought They Were”


Weaver holds the highest total ranking of any of the rants in the tournament. His rant really has it all. However, Denny Green was much more angry in his exchange with the media. You’d be pretty pissed too if your team forced six turnovers, had a 20 point lead at halftime and still ended up losing.


West Region 

1. Mike Mahanic “That Ain’t Worth a Fucking Shit”


2. Herman Edwards “You Play to Win the Game” 


Mahanic’s rant is strong in the rankings. You won’t find a rant with more anger and swearing. He got a two for message because like I’ve said before, it’s golf… Edwards’ rant is much more famous but it lacks in a lot of areas. This will be a close match-up.


Get your votes in now! Forward this to friends! Every votes counts!

Next week will mark the beginning of the furious four. More importantly, it’ll mean that I only have two more weeks of keeping up with this shit.


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