Captain America traded to Penguins.

ray shero U MAD BROIn response to Sidney Crosby’s recent jaw fracture, Penguins GM Ray Shero pulled off yet another shocking trade by acquiring Captain America from The Avengers for a 4th round pick and an old Ziggy Palffy autographed jersey.

“We have added a few other Captains the last few days” said Shero, referring recently acquired Jarome Iginla and Brenden Morrow. Both were the captain on their previous teams before being sent to Pittsburgh in deals that have hockey exec’s referring to Ray Shero as ‘The Puck Whisperer’. “We like Captain America’s leadership and grit. In World War II he lead the Allied Army in blocked shots. We think he makes us a lot harder to play against.”

When asked what the deal meant for the Avengers, leader Nick Fury angrily replied “What does it mean?! I don’t even know who the !#$@ Ziggy Palffy IS!! Is that even a real person? Sounds like a Mutha #*@&ing Pokemon character!”

Read the full (fake) story here.

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