I am simultaneously writing this letter and watching the Bulls/Kings game. I will describe to you (in parenthesis) what is happening in the game as I write. This should give you a good idea of the shit show that I am witnessing right now. Your team is down by 30 right now. To the fucking Kings! The Kings are 22-43! They are tied for the worst record in the Western Conference. Not to mention, the Kings are playing without their best player, Demarcus Cousins. (Cole Aldrich dunk) As a Bulls fan, I think I speak for everyone in saying that it’s time you come back and play. (Nate Robinson bricks 3 pointer) The doctors have cleared you to play. They’ve said that getting back on the floor is the final step in the recovery process. (Tyreke Evans fade away from 3. Drains it.)
I know that you don’t feel ready yet. But the only way you’ll ever feel ready again is to get out there and play. You have to work through the discomfort. Ask Jamal Crawford! He had the same injury. (Jimmer Fredette banks in a 2) He’ll tell you to listen to the doctors. You need to come back this season. Do you really want to (Fredette drains corner 3) spend a whole off season with people speculating on whether you’ll be ready or not. You need to get your confidence back, I understand. Get it back by being on the floor. (Halftime. Score 65-36)
Your team just scored 36 points in a half. 36 POINTS IN A HALF! The Kings scored 65. They allowed the Kings to shoot 58% from the floor and 46% from 3. The Kings have 1 turnover. The Bulls have 8. The Bulls bench has scored a grand total of 4 points. This is basketball hell. (Second half starting)
I’ll admit that I’m being a complete homer in writing this letter but I want my Bulls basketball back. (Deng missed jumper, offensive foul on Joakim Noah) I want to turn on the TV and watch the Bulls play lock down defense again. I want to see the Bulls score 100 points in a game again. (Joakim Noah missed lay-up) I miss the excitement. I miss the bench mob. I miss feeling like the Bulls have a chance.
(Noah throws it out of bounds, over the head of Belinelli)
Can you please come back and rescue us from this hell on earth!? I understand that you coming back (Patrick Patterson hits a 3) won’t suddenly turn the Bulls back into a title contender. It won’t bring back Omer Asik, Ronnie Brewer or Kyle Korver. It won’t make Vladimir Radmanovic a professional basketball player. Your brother is right. He’s dumb, but right. The Bulls aren’t built to win a championship right now. (Nate Robinson has three-on-one fast break. Dribbles off his leg) But coming back will give us hope. Hope that we can win games we’re not supposed to. Hope that when another team gets on a run, you’ll be there to hit a driving layup to stop the momentum. (Tyreke Evans layup and one). Three minutes left in the third. The deficit is now 40.
Screw it. I’m watching Storage Wars.
You don’t need to be 2010-2011 Derrick Rose again. You don’t have to be the MVP. You can struggle at first. I won’t mind. You can be at 80%. That’s still better than most of the clowns on the team now. It’s time. You need to come back. For your sake and for mine. I’m dying here. I need my Bulls basketball. I want to feel the excitement again. Please come back. Give this sorry ass team a reason to play hard again.
Final score: Chicago 79 Sacramento 121
Bulls shoot 2-21 from 3.
Bulls turn the ball over 17 times to the Kings 5.
Full box score can be found here.