The 2012 Dubsism NCAA Bracket Challenge – Instead of “The Final Four,” It Should Be “The Final Countdown”

10…9…8…  Eventually you get the blinding flash, then the blast wave that crushes everything in its path for miles in every direction, then the radioactive fallout which poisons the landscape into a toxic nuclear wasteland where there simply is no survival.

Then there’s what happened to my bracket.  This was beyond collapse; this may have been the worst bracket I’ve ever filled out.  If you read any further, be warned that my bracket exploded with such ferocity that radiation may be seeping into your eyeballs at this very moment.

South Region:

Welcome to the only region in which I didn’t pull a chair up to the steam table at the “All You Can Suck” buffet.  Kentucky was the only Final Four team I picked correctly, but at least I didn’t pick them to win it all. My theory was there would be so much Kentucky money out there that if the Wildcats tripped up, it was simply a matter of feasting on everybody else’s misery.  Welcome to Backfire City…population, me.

East Region:

Even before Syracuse lost Fab Melo, I wasn’t buying them. When it came to this years bracket, I wasn’t buying any team from a conference with “Big” in its title.  In particular, I had little faith in Ohio State. I really thought (and still do) they are just Jared Sullinger and little else. Apparently, I underestimated the Buckeye big man.

West Region:

I can’t tell which hurts worse here…the fact that I screwed myself by picking a champion which violated this year’s rule about teams from conferences with “Big” in their title, or the fact that my champ was taken out by Louisville.  My winner lost to a team coached by a guy who looks like a cross between Colonel Sanders and Fredo Corleone.

Midwest Region:

As God as my witness, there is no college basketball team I hate more than Kansas.  No team has screwed me in this tournament more than Kansas. They lose when they should be dominant. They win when they suck (I’m looking at you, Danny F–king Manning). Even this year, they damn near lost to Purdue.  Kansas has prison-raped my brackets so often I’m amazed they aren’t in the Big Ten.

The Leaderboard:

What this will boil down to is who wins…Ohio State or Kentucky. That is somewhat like betting on World War II and needing Nazi Germany to beat Soviet Russia. Either way, there will be much misery.



Filed under Sports

5 responses to “The 2012 Dubsism NCAA Bracket Challenge – Instead of “The Final Four,” It Should Be “The Final Countdown”

  1. sportsattitudes

    Woulda, coulda, shoulda…I had a Final Four of Kentucky, Michigan State, North Carolina and Ohio State. Obviously, I feel if UNC had their best player on the floor your arch-enemy Jayhawks would be planning their off-season right now. Sparty really perplexed me against the ‘Ville. I guess picking six of the Elite Eight is satisfaction considering how some of the earlier games played out. Have Kentucky winning it all so if that pans out I’ll consider this year OK. “Backfire City…population, me.” Priceless.

  2. That’s a whole lotta red ink there, brother.

    For a split second, I was actually rooting for Ohio State to win it all until I remember those fuckers stole our football coach.

  3. sportsattitudes

    Don’t worry, Chris. THE Ohio State University will be looking for a new Coach in two years. The current one will at that point need to spend more time with his family…

  4. We had very similar brackets, JW. I still can believe Michigan State scored a putrid 44 points against Louisville!

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